Is It Love, Lust, Infatuation, or Friendship?

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Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. Your feelings aren't deep enough for love; you're probably more in the realm of infatuation. In this story a young couple desperately want to give each other meaningful Christmas gifts.

True love is different. Lust and love and love and addiction can overlap. Lust can feel like love because the feelings of attraction are strong and all-consuming.

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Whether your obsession about someone is a sign of love or addiction? Initial attraction stirs up neurotransmitters and hormones that create the excitement of infatuation and a strong desire to be close and sexual with the person. These chemicals and our emotional and psychological makeup can cause us to obfuscate reality and idealize the object of our attraction. Time spent in fantasy fuels our craving to be with him or her. Sex releases oxytocin, the love chemical that makes us want to nest with our partner. As we get to know our lover, we may want to spend more or less time together, depending on what we learn. At this juncture, our brain chemicals as well as our attachment style and psychological issues can lead us to become codependently attached through a romance or love addiction that feels like love, but is more driven by our need for the chemical rush to avoid feelings of abandonment, and low self-esteem. We may remain attached and even crave our partner, but our discomfort or unhappiness grows. Instead of focusing on that, our hunger to be with him or her takes center stage, despite the fact that disturbing facts or character traits arise that are hard to ignore. We may feel controlled or neglected, unsafe or disrespected, or discover that our partner is unreliable, or lies, manipulates, rages, has secrets, or has a major problem, such as drug addiction or serious legal or financial troubles. Increasingly, we hide our worries and doubts and rely on sex, romance, and fantasy to sustain the relationship. These are signs of addiction. However, true love does require that we recognize our separateness and love our mate for who he or she truly is. As the relationship grows, we develop trust and greater closeness. Instead of trying to change our partner, we accept him or her. We want to share more of our time and life together, including our problems and friends and family. Love and codependency may coexist or be hard to differentiate, because codependents idealize and often happily self-sacrifice for their partner. Facing the truth would create inner conflict about our fear of emptiness and loneliness. Healthy relationships and codependent, addictive ones have very different trajectories. Lust and love and love and addiction can overlap. When we heal our codependency, we can see whether love remains. We might even leave an unhealthy relationship and still love our ex. Healing from codependency and addiction require effort and the support of a 12-step program or. There is hope and a way out. To learn more and start healing, do the exercises in my books and and ebooks and. ©Darlene Lancer 2014 Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and codependency. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally.

I mean, we've made out and stuff. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong. If any one question will clarify whether you are in love or in lust, it could be this question right here. I tend to agree with Reiner, that Lust is easy. You think obsessively about these details, and you try to decide how the person feels about you based on these somewhat trivial qualities. Most of the solo, the sex between us feels like: Pretty okay but boring An intense emotional connection Fireworks 13. You might feel giddy or excited. It goes without saying love lust or friendship quiz people who are truly in love will talk about their future as a couple. There are ways you can figure this out without risking the friendship. For the next week, I visited Sally every single evening, falling more and love with her each night.